I have called ?? restaurant today

and got my list of restaurant to visit, hopeful tonight. My hubby is working now and he is going back to rest first because he has got a headache.

My friend helped me to call some of them and I am kind of grateful to her. I told her and another friend that I might be getting married this December. I told them that I was clueless on how to get my WG & EG. However, today I told my Y friend that I might just engage her designer to do the gown for me. She hinted to me that her hairdo was not very good. So I was thinking should I get my own make-up artist instead.

I look at The Pond website again today and was kind of not confident on my decision. We got no time for Photoshooting anyway. So I think when the day is fix, I better go down to their studio and have a look.

I have called three restaurant...

during lunch time. Two are fully booked and there is still dates for one of them. I think we will go down to that restaurant one day to check it out when my hubby is free. However, we got to do it fast.

My hubby was very stress today

yet he felt guilty because I told him that I have got something to discuss with him and he has no time for me for two days.

I told him my plans on the DIY and AD photography. Upon listened to my planning, he flare up and begin reasoning. He asked me what happen if the AD photograper make a mistake with out photo and we cannot just do the wedding again. What if his relative start fighting in the middle of our dinner.

Then he begin to tell me his work stress. He told me that he do not want me to cut cost on our wedding. He said that if I wanted designer gowns, famous photographer or switzenland for our honeymoon, go ahead and plan. He said all I need is to tell him how much and give him some time and he will give me the money.

I think he has gone bonker. I told him that I am not helping him to cut cost. Instead I am trying to make everything worth the price that I am paying for. I tried to tell him that the omition of the Photoshoot is not trying to cut cost. I am trying to make my wedding album more meaningful instead of just posing behind a beautiful background. I am trying to tell him that the photoshooting session which everybody practice now is meaningless and is not worth paying the price and time for it. Moreover, if we really have to do the photoshooting, I will have not time for the gowns. He do not seems to let it. Arggggh!

Inside my heart I was thinking. Even if he wants me to have my dream wedding, I do not want to see him work so hard for the money, and spend it on a one day event and three months later, everybody forgot what I have wear. It is just not worth it. He thought otherwise. He told me that his uncle wife is now blaming his husband for not taking a photpshooting during their wedding. He do not want me to blame him later.

I kept crying for the whole conversation and I can see that he felt very stress when I cried. Stupid me! I just lost control with my eyes when I got emotional. Sometime, I wish I could drain out all my tears in my eyes and never to cry again. I hate to cry because it makes me feel weak.

I was thinking...

maybe I should not sign up with any bridal shop. I like the idea to DIY the whole wedding myself.

To make thing simple, I might not go for Photo shooting if my hubby agreed. I have asked my mum and she agreed. I hope my hubby agrees too.

Without the photo shooting I have more time to look for my WG & EG. What I need is an make up artist who only need to appear twice on my wedding day (morning and evening) and a professional photographer for a whole day. I only need to pay for the photographer and DIY my own album later. This way, I save on on bouquet of flowers, one session of make up, time, money. What I gain will be all the negatives from the photos, I can redevelop them if I want to, professional photographer on my actual day and my hubby will not complain that he do not like to take photo or take up one day of his working time for photo shooting. However, there will be something disadvantage. My guests will not be able to see any wedding photo on my wedding day.

I hope my in-law will not disagreed. Ok, maybe I should start figuring out how to make my own album.

Today is National Day.

We have our first sit down discussion together. I mean my parents, my brother (I dunno what is he doing there), My sis and her husband and their baby, My hubby parents, my hubby auntie and one of the auntie's kid (I also dunno what is she doing there).

It is good that they sit down and talk, at least they know what my parents want and my parent know what is expected. My parents wanted everything to be simple and my hubby parents seem to have more ideas and patterns. My hubby's dad kept quiet most of the time. I think it is good that my sis family is around too. My brother-in-law did talk a bit on their own wedding.

After the whole thing, my hubby called me again. He said that his mum called him and told him that she miss out some of the things. He said that he also scolded his mum for making things difficult. He also said that our family got no problem but the problem lies on his mum. She is too excited.

Anyway, I told my hubby not to stress himself too much as these were unneccessary stress. I hope everything turns out well in the end.

My hubby called me today

he asked me for my bank account. I asked him what he wanted it for. He said that he is borrowing money from his brother for our wedding. I disagreed immediately.

My mum overheard us and said that I should not disagreed. She said that my hubby might get very stress over this. However, I have told him long ago that I dun like him to borrow money from anybody for our wedding or house. If we really wanted to borrow money, we should have get married long time ago. Why wait until now?

My mum seem to be ok today.

She told me that it is time to let me go when I have already accompany her 30 years. I think my dad talk and comfort her.

My hubby told me that the meeting was changed to Monday instead of Sunday. I have began to surf Singapore brides forum with a lighter heart. I have got a few questions to ask everybody.

It seems that I got a lot of things in my mind that were not wedding stuffs and I dun have much time to blog details down.

I have told my mum and dad

that my hubby parents will meet us and talk about the wedding. My dad said nothing. My mum asked me when am I going to get married. I said maybe this coming Dec. My mum was expressionless. I asked her if she is all right, she said she is going to miss me. Awwwww...

We went to carefour today.

We did not talk much on the wedding. I showed him the list of restaurants and he looked it through. Then he handed it back to me and tell me that we need to confirm the date first.

My hubby looked stress. I asked him what happen and he said that he was stress over his work. I got a bit of doubt on this but I did not agrue over it. He did not tell me what kind of work stress too. He just keep quiet most of the time.

However, before we went out, he seems to be ok on the phonel. He told me that somebody called him and told him that he has won a pair of air ticket to Bangkok but we got to attend some seminar. He also told me that his mum is so excited over our wedding that she kept calling him asking him on details. He also did a rough calculation on our expense of our wedding. He seems ok all along until he went for his meeting.

Anyway, I have check with some people in the forum and they said that a wedding in this year December was possible. If I really want it fast, the only way is to go for an OTR gowns, which I dun mind at all.

last night, my hubby called.

I forgotten what were we talking about. I remember I told him that I wanted a divorce if we are not married. I told him that I did a calculation, by the time I reach 35 I can buy my own flat. We need to be separated 3 years to divorce, so we will had to apply for separation on my 32 birthday. Since a normal wedding preparation will need a year to get it done, so by the time I reach 31 on my coming birthday, we can get prepared to divorce. After telling him all these, I slam the phone down.

This morning, he called me that tell me his mum cannot sleep last night. He has actually told her to prepare for our wedding and everybody is so excited. He also told me that her mum and some aunties will be coming down to our house this Sunday. He said that they also want us to get married on this year December.

I am now thinking if my hubby wants to get married only when I threaten divorce. Well, I am not threatening him, I was serious.

My hubby called me at last

He said that he was busy for the whole day because of the National Day Dinner he got to attend.

I told him that I thought he was too angry to called. I remind him what happen yesterday and told him that I do not know how to stay with him in the same house in future. He just brushed the topic aside.

Well, my hubby has not called me

since yesterday. I guess he is still mad at me.

I got so emotional this afternoon that I cried. I lay on my bed, hide my face in my pillow and cried so that my mum will not see. I managed to calm myself down and sleep for a while. When I woke up it is already 4:30pm. This is how I waste my whole Sunday afternoon.

Well, now that I am in a btter mood, maybe I can recall a bit what I was thinking at that moment.

I was surfing the internet then. I had promised myself not to touch the Singapore Brides forum and yet my itch hands click on the link. Worest of all, I found my previous posting in the Matter of the Heart. I read some of the posting on my thread and began to cry. At that time, I feel like copying the whole entire thread to this blog here. I dunno if I should do that a not. I feel like starting the thread alive again and tell everybody on the forum that I am still waiting to get married. At this time, I broke down. I saw the the date when I first posted was last year October.

I really feel like initating a divorce with my hubby at the point of crying. I felt that since we are not getting married, why not get a divorce and goes on with life. I dun have to hang myself half way in the air not knowing what is ahead.

I wanted to get my own house when if I divorce. However, I got to wait till I am 35 which mean another 5 years. Maybe I might get my own private apartment.

I am afraid to stay with my hubby too. He flare up easily and sometimes I dun not even know what has happen.

We went to ikea today

We went to ikea after he has dinner in my mum house. My ikea card was expiring and we could actually exchange our points for items. Today was the last day and I was thinking to let it expire since ikea is so far away. However, he ofter to go with me.

We brought a few stuff from ikea and decided not to go for the mid-night movie because it was a kind of rush. We went back to our new house thinking to go back settle some of the plant stuffs and then go to Geylang for some food.

We reached the new house and immediately started doing our stuff. I change a planting pot for my catus while he arranged his money plant. After we have completed our stuff, he clean up the cat shit. Out of sudden, he began to bang his things. He threw his wallet and car keys into the drawer, went into the master bedroom banging the door behind him. I was wondering what was happening.

After he has bathe, he announced that we have to go. I quickly pack my stuffs and went out of the house. I did not talk to him when he was still in an angry mood.

While in the car, I asked him what happen. He said that I was commenting that he could stand the cat shit for two days. He also said that he has done his best. I kept quiet and was thinking if I did make those comments. I did said that the house was smelly, well, it was really smelly. I did comment that he could really stand those smell. I did comment that the living room floor was dirty, well, it was really dirty, full of cat's fur everywhere.

I guess maybe I nagged and he dun like it. Anyway, I asked him to send me home because I am no longer interested in supper with him and his bad mood. Next time, when I go to my new house, I got to remember that I cannot make any comment regarding the condition of the house.

What do you think?